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My very own personal theme song…

April 5, 2009

Yes, I feel that it is high time I picked a theme song for my life…  Or rather one picked me.  There I was, minding my own business by minding other people’s business (reading blogs, of course!) when a song started in the background.  The blog I was reading had an automatic playlist thingy.  Normally, I don’t even hear these when they start.  I went to an open concept school.  A school with NO WALLS and all the classrooms defined by which way your desk faced.  The teacher would stand at the “front” and teach to the students who were facing her. We’re talking 20 different classrooms with nothing to stop one from bleeding into another but an empty stretch of no man land’s carpet.  I can FOCUS and tune distractions out like no ones business.  Who knew they were training a whole generation of cubicle workers? 

Anywhoo- there I was, blah, blah,blah, and all of a sudden, I was paying more attention to the song than the blog.  The words had meaning to me.  I scrolled to the bottom and read the name of the song.  I clicked on it several more times to listen to it again and again.  I went and bought the CD.  I played the same song over and over again, just like in Junior High (remember those days?)  It wasn’t long before I could hear that song in my head with no outside help whatsoever (and no, that is not weird!).  And so it has become my theme song.  Would you like to know what it is?  Well, I’ll tell you then.  The song that is my life, “I Will Not Be Moved” by Natalie Grant.  The lyrics are what drew me in.  It starts this way:

“I have been a wayward child, I have acted out, I have questioned Sovereignty, and had my share of doubts,

And though sometimes my prayers feel like they’re bouncing off the sky,

the hand I hold won’t let me go and is the reason why…”

Okay, let’s discuss…  Don’t you love it when I get all teachery?   Don’t answer that…  Anywhoo- this is so me.  I am such a sinner.  I question God’s sovereignty and whether He really knows what’s best and all…  Oh don’t get all judgmental, I told you I was a sinner.  I struggle with this issue a lot.  I know in my head and say with my mouth that He is sovereign, but my actions and heart often start me down the wrong path.  You know- I’m just gonna help God to do this one thing.  As if  He needed my help.  And because I know what’s best.  All too soon, it becomes an issue of MY WILL and not GOD’S WILL.  And let me tell you how prayer time so doesn’t work in that kind of situation.  I just tell God about MY plans and MY intents and what will happen because of MY actions.  And those prayers, with the wrong kind of heart (because I’ve gotten too far from God to even be in the right neighborhood of a worshipful attitude) truly do bounce down from the sky.  Because they are serving me and not God. 

And then comes the chorus

“I will stumble, I will fall down, but I will not be moved

I will make mistakes, I will face heartache, but I will not be moved

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, I will not be moved.”

I am so all about the stumbling and falling down.  I do that daily (hourly, if you MUST know).  The making mistakes and facing heartache are me too.  My actions have hurt more than just me many a time.  But despite the mess of my life that I constantly make, I know God is there and loves me undeserving as I am.  As recalcitrant as I can be- undeserving sinner that I am, He loves me. 

Isn’t it a great song?

 

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 8, 2009 7:21 pm

    That’s my “scream at the devil” song. 🙂 He’s the one trying to condemn me when I fail, and I love singing/screaming that at him! It’s a good reminder to me too, that God feels the same way about me. Where I am in His eyes doesn’t “move”, it always stays the same. He is faithful!

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